Planning

l am an extremely organised person by nature. l am always way ahead of the game in terms of Christmas and birthday presents, school events. you name it, l have a list about it.
BUT when it comes to life l find that outside of the things you have to plan, the rest really can be left to unfold because, invariably, things happen, surprises happen, shocks happen , accidents happen. life happens SO GO WITH THE FLOW

Exercise and snobbery/ the new fitness elite

I have had a chequered history with exercise.  First of all l come from a family whose life pretty much revolved around sport- team sports, golf, tennis.
We all played a team sport, our parents were into golf and pitch and putt. my mum got big into tennis with her girlfriends. my brothers played a range of team sports, l played team sports up til the end of my teens.
We cycled to school and walked everywhere with our friends in our free time.
We were very involved with our sports clubs so weekends were spent going to matches, our record was three matches in three locations in the one day, my mum did the whole packed lunch thing.
We realise now that it was a blessing for us as kids and we did have a great childhood, we got to be part of another community and we mad friends for life.

Now, as l got older l cycled on and off and walked huge amounts, for exercise, and as a mode of transport.  i swam on and off. l joined the gym, did box aerobics, pilates, yoga, chi gung. you name it, l joined it.

I travelled the world and saw that in warmer and drier climates people had more opportunities for outside exercise.

Then l got out of shape, what with work and having a young family and working full time and all that jazz, l literally did not have the energy.  Then on an off l would have burst of walking for a time.

Anyway, my point is that no sooner would l get back into my walking routine, of 25 minutes a day, which i think is just perfect, than somebody would say:
- walk longer distances,
-walk faster for longer
- build up your mileage,
-increase your pace


this progressed to
-work up to running
-there are lots of 5milers happening all the time

which led to people saying

-there's a 10k run coming up you should really give it a go.


But the ultimate is that now it has progressed to TRIATHLONS

all of a sudden your not worth a toss unless your doing a triathlon at the weekend.

I have seen people look down their noses at people walking, or cycling or going for a swim..

Well l just want to say  I WALK EVERY DAY, SOMETIMES 25 MINS, SOMETIMES 45 MINS,MAYBE AN HOUR. BUT IT IS ENOUGH, I AM HAPPY AND PROUD.

These new fitness elite remind me of the music snobs and the art snobs. THis is just the new form, and they are all off buying racing bikes and compression tights and feet stockings to run in. Well let them at it l say.
I just shove on my runners every morning and walk, sometimes l take my ipod sometimes l dont, l am not timing myself, trying to improve my pace, wearing a heart monitor, loggging my times on a gps watch. No...l am walking, moving, breathing in and out, smiling at the sunshine, smiling in the rain, happy to be alive...

Oscars 2013

I am a huge movie fan, l love dvds, l love going to the cinema. I have several movie sound tracks on CD.
But wouldnt it be hard to pick the winners in each category.
I only recently became aware of the actors working hard at lobbying to win the oscar.  Is it just me or does that take some of the goodness out of it?
I know that sounds terribly naieve of me but hey...is it hard for them to show humility if they have been lobbying like mad to get people to vote for them.
Anyway, I do like the Oscars and the ceremony of it and the glamour and watching them all being their super shiniest versions of themselves but l wont be staying up all night to catch it. Thats for sure.  i will catch it online tomorrow

Did you ever think, this is not how l thought it was going to be

short but sweet again:

somedays when l am doing something with my kids l am amazed by a lack of patience.
Previously,  I had what others would have described as endless patience.Now, its seems to be stretched shall we say.

My kids are great kids, they are clever and mannerly and all that is good in a child.
They are far from perfect too, which l love.
So why on certain days do l have a complete lack of tolerance.....

I think they get a lot: movies, outings to sports centres, the park etc.

We are always trying to engage them, exercise with them, stimulate their brains. 

We do baking with them, cooking, football,tennis, fly kites, arts and crafts, take photos,cycling, visiting friends, walks on beach....the list is endless.

So l think  sometimes that they get so so much and they are so good, if their  is suddenly out of character, and it usually comes when you least expect it, it strikes a chord in me...

Ultimately, they are very happy, healthy, well behaved, bright, clever engaging kids.
I think it is me, trying to be a super mom that feels my own shortcomings more than they...at least l hope so...

movie fest

l'm in a movie marathon kind of mood. its cold outside. house is nice and warm and cosy. husband is out watching rugby, kids watching dvd.
l would like to watch a few movies back to back.
if l could what would l watch? 
i do have movies that l like grouping together.
for example The Jane Austens
who l sometimes group with Little Women.
I love sense and sensibility.  I love Pride and Prejudice. I have watched the movie so many times but recently bought the BBC version with Colin Firth and love that too.
I then like do run together Notting Hill and Love Actually.

Or if lm more deprived of sun and want to feel more of a Mediterranean vibe l love:
Amelie
Paris J'taim
Cinema Paradiso
Il Postino
These will absolutely make you feel good. Troppo belissima, muy muy bien, and tres bien.

Then in a nod to the beautiful land of the long white cloud, New Zealand- the Lord of the RIngs trilogy- which to be fair is a significant commitment which requires subsequent nights. We took it on holidays with us last year to France for two weeks and that provided our night time entertainment when kiddies finally nodded off.

Also from NEw Zealand we have Whale Rider and What becomes of the broken hearted


The Bourne Trilogy to be fair is always worth a viewing. Still good even after multiple viewings

I do enjoy les chick flick also. It is my guilty pleasure and this list is endless so anything from 27 dresses to He's just noth that into you, to My Best Friends Wedding and on and on and on.

Also Anything by nicholas Sparks, they just hit the right note with me after a brutal day at work and take my mind right off it.

So the main thing is you have to gauge how you are feeling, and what it is you want out of the movie. that can take me quite some time. We have a huge collection of dvds and l often spend quite some time in  a trance sitting on the floor in front of the unit we keep them in looking and looking til l get the  "ah yes that one" moment.

This does not mean l am clear and free, sometimes l am ten minutes into a movie and realise."no no no this is not what l want, l actually want to watch ....." and l change it over and away l go.

so now, l am having the contemplation phase.  I will look forward to whatever dvd takes my fancy...

have a nice evening/morning wherever you are

TV.................TO WATCH OR NOT TO WATCH

I stopped watching tv for a long time.
however my husband has series linked shows for me recently that l always thought l would enjoy but was too busy to watch.
Interestingly enough, i am hooked.
l am currently watching the Mentalist which l must admit l absolutely love.
l am also watching Greys Anatomy.
So what this means is they are recording away quietly all the time, and then when the house is quiet and l get a few hours to myself l watch them back to back.
It is a pleasant way to spend an hour or two.

I know there is plenty of other ways to spend an hour or two, buy hey, l have a very hectic week and on a Saturday morning for an hour or two if l get to watch a few hours of tv, l am more than happy to do it. tucked up nice and snug in my lounge with a hot drink and a blanket around me(very cold this weather isnt it)and happy.
i have just watched an episode of the MEntalist, had a cup of tea or two and now am back off to get on with the rest of a very busy day.

willpower

short but sweet.
its not a new revelation for me but l have to admit it aloud now.
i am powerless ...the smell of toast will lure me to the kitchen every single time.
had my teeth brushed. my hair brushed. my pjs on, sitting in my cosy chair in my room, reading and keeping an eye on twitter and the news.  then the smell of toast wafted up the stairs and assaulted my nose and my shaky willpower...

and here l am now, two slices of hot toast and butter and a cup of tea later...reflecting, wondering how it all happened so fast and lm back to reading my book. hoping it was all a dream
:)

What notion has the world got wrong and why.....

What  notion do you  think the world has got wrong and why......


The notion that  everything must change.


Technological developments, research and science have transformed our world beyond.
They bring us phenomenal gifts, such as cures for illness but they bring us untold woes such as global warming, environmental destruction and the loss of innocence to name but a few.

But in my opinion some of the best things can, and should stay the same.

Respect

Kindness

Honesty

Decency

Random thoughts on Self Esteem/Self Respect/ Sex and the internet and the surrender of decency and privacy

 Random thoughts on Self esteem, Self respect, The internet & Surrendering our privacy

These were notes l had been scribbling away at to write an article on but other projects had deadlines so here they are in their un finished form.  

Facebook – people using this to advertise themselves. Women with profile pictures of themselves naked, or scantily clad or focusing on particular parts of themselves…but not using this as a private facebook page but using it for their friends and family too…no fear of what people think , no concerns for their safety…their reputation…the fact that they might be mums…how this will affect their kids..that their kids might see it, or their friends…

This is how they chose to represent themselves.

Television programmes and their representation of women./Social media and how women are representing themselves.

Youtube, a social phenomenon.- private movies displayed to a world wide audience. Loss of control

onsent issues. What people chose to post. Sexually explicit material of a very personal nature..

Pornography….websites advertise for over 18 only but then have huge emphasis on Barely Legal, step kid seduces step parent..same sex teens etc. Its ALARMING.

Also porn sites, with huge volumes of women volunteering to be on their shows..

Language in summary videos extremely derogatory towards women….even though women know what they are entering into or believe that they do….scenes may start with woman in lead role but ultimately its all about her being on receiving end….the power dynamic ..

The descriptions so disrespectful and inciteful . Women are always referred to in terms of being taught a lesson, or shown a good time but none of the language ever suggests that the couple involved are partners in the experience.

BANg Bus!!! What the hell are people doing and thinking. I was googling something the other day and this came up as a search result. Really people. For those of you who have yet to have your mind destroyed by viewing this American website- which appears to be a bit of an institution at this point it is shocking.

WHY would any young/ or not so young woman volunteer for this.  To do this on camera in a dirty van with guys filming you, knowing that it will be posted on the internet and that once it goes up there,you have little or no hope of having it removed. Do young people not grasp the concept of permanency. That down the line when they want to move on with their lives that this will be out there in cyber space.

 

What does it say about women and how they view themselves, how they perceive themselves and how they present themselves to the world.

What does it say about men, and how they see women, how they treat women and how they view intimacy?

 

 

 

 

 

20 random facts about myself

20 Random facts about myself


1.               I am tall but not very tall. when l was a kid l was always one of the tallest in my class but not the tallest.  as  l got older l enjoyed my height more because so many of my friends hated being short. As a teen though l would have been taller than some of my boyfriends

2.          I love music, all sorts of music, even types that are 'uncool'.  Music can make you happy, sad, cheer you up, make you remember, make you forgot.  It is a big part of my day

3.        I always enjoyed being with people, working with people, socialising. i am a happy mixer and can strike up a conversation in a queue at the checkout, on a train,bus anywhere.

4.       For me time, l love going to the movies alone. Dont get me wrong l love going with friends too but l do enjoy popping to the cinema regularly on my own. l bring in a bagel and a coffee and sit there in the dark and lose myself in a movie. I love movies

5.    I love cooking and cooking for family and friends.  I dream of having my own cafe

6.    I  love walking and over the years have walked huge amounts BUT if the routine stops it can take me a while, or a long time to get back on track. When l do l always feel happy

7.    I like cemetaries.  if l visit somewhere l do like visiting old cemetaries, they are sacred places, they are extremely interesting places, you can learn a lot about the area from them. And most of all, its nice to think that somebody stops to look at a headstone that has maybe not had a visit in a very very long time and maybe utters that persons name.

8.     When l was younger l was open to all sorts of adventure, loved spontaneity, challenge and adventure, as l move towards my fourth decade, as much as l hate to admit it, l see this changing a bit. For example, a few years of go l would have happily packed up and moved to the other side of the world, but now, l would still do it but would be very very anxious about it and would worry more about homesickness

9.  I love watching programmes like house hunters in the sun.
i fantasise about buying a house in spain or france and spending summers there where the kids can run free and enjoy nature and the beach and the outdoors.

10.   l have a long standing fantasy about winning the lottery.  obviously l am not alone in this but l have a plan for the money.  the bigger the amount the more people l can help.
I even wrote the blueprint for it so in the chance of it every happening l have a whole plan in place for the establishment of my own charitable foundation with local , national and international projects and people earmarked to work on each section.

Dont get me wrong, l would also pay off my mortgage, get a new car and help all of my family and friends, but genuinely l would help others.

11.  i believe in god, or some higher power. I was brought up to follow a faith, l left it aside in my youth, l do find as l get older and have my own kids now, l am moving back towards it.
I think l have seen that in times of despair it has given people l know a great source of comfort and to be honest, this is a gift l would like to give to my children.  I do think it makes you feel part of something also and acts to keep you somewhat grounded and think of others.

12.  i have had  a recurring dream that my teeth fall out and its very real and l can literally feel the teeth crumbling....l wake up and run my tongue along my gums just to be sure all my teeth are in place.

13. I have had a recurring dream that l am being chased and l cannot run, my legs are stuck as if in cement.  l keep powering my arms and just cannot take off, l wake up shouting


14. I love my parents. I am proud of them and what they have achieved. most of all l am proud of their marriage, how they conduct themselves and proud of the role models as decent human beings, friends, parents and grandparents and married couple.

15.     If my husband is away overnight l leave a light on in my room, dont tell anybody but l can still be a little afraid of the dark...ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhh..

16. i talk to myself a lot when l am at home alone. think its more like verbalising my to do lists

17.  although l love warm weather and sunshine and bright nights there is something very comforting and safe about winter and dark nights that come early- when your family is home and you pull the curtains, shut the door and revel in the warmth of your home and the love of your family.

18.  i recently discovered Twitter. it became my guilty pleasure.
19. I LOVE  google maps. what an amzing resource.

20. I LOVE TEA

My favourite quality in my spouse....

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
if you have read some of my other blog entries you will know that l find it hard to pick favourite anythings.  I couldnt pick a favourite book, movie, food so l could never pick a favourite quality in my spouse as there are many and no one of them defines him.

Thoughtfulness.
His thoughtfulness amazes me. Not  that l am amazed he is thoughful but because of the scope of it and his ability to still surprise me after all these years.
He would literally do anything for anybody, but most of his ideas to help friends and neighbours just pop in to his head and he is the kind of guy who offers without being asked.

Generosity 
He is incredibly generous. we are far from rich but have a little rainy day fund, he has offered this to many a friend in trouble without missing a beat on many an occassion

Love
He is a guy who went we went out first wasnt a very affectionate or tactile guy or an "i love you " skinda guy but over the years he has been transformed and this has accelereated since we had our two kids. He tells them everyday and hugs and kisses them and its amazing to see.

Happy Valentines Day.

I am just listening  to

1. All you need is love by the Beatles

2.  In my Life by the Beatles.

They werent in my head when l logged on to youtube but just came to mind and am glad they did.

How do you know THE ONE is "the one"???????????

How did l know the "one" was THE ONE??

I first laid eyes on him  when l was about 11 years old. I dont remember much about the day other than it was at a gathering of sorts and l just remember seeing him. Although he was not that  near me, or did not talk to me, i remember being aware that l was blushing literally up to the roots of my hair.  I remember thinking what the hell is wrong with me, why did l just go bright red. Then we left the area but l do remember the next time l saw him l felt exactly the same and suddenly it began to dawn on me. I would literally have butterflies when l saw him.
The fact that he was a team mate of my brother's did mean l saw him pretty often. all the way through my teens in fact. we became friends. 
I never thought l was in his league so it meant l had great fun with him, in his company.

Many many years later the fact that he found me attractive blew my mind.......
the fact that we got together, travelled the world, bought a home, got married and had our beautiful children together is still mind blowing..................
he would cringe if he read this, but l love him to bits and feel lucky, so lucky...but hey, he didnt do too bad either xxx

10 things l hope l would be remembered for

A good daughter, sister, cousin, niece. I hope l will be a person who was considered a good family member. interested in family in its wider sense, immediate family, and extended family.

A good friend-I often think that it is one of the highest accolades. That somebody would think you were a really GOOD FRIEND.

A good colleague, somebody who was supportive, interested in colleagues and how they were doing, helpful and good fun and a positive influence in work environment.

A kind and caring person.

A funny person. up for a laugh, love to laugh, am getting better at laughing at myself with each year.

Thoughtful, l do think of others, remember birthdays, sad days, significant days/events for people and check in with them to let them know l care.

l would like to think l was good at my job and that what l did made a difference to people. I would like to hope that the people I was working with and trying to help knew that l was really trying, even if l didnt always help get them to the outcome they wanted, as long as they knew l was trying my best to get them there i would be happy with that.

A positive person and a good listener. Somebody who people felt they could turn to, they could share with, they could be listened too and they would get advice from

A good wife, a supportive wife, a loving wife, a fun wife.  THis was my aim, this was my intention..to love well and with all my heart, in good times and in bad xx

A GOOD MOTHER- to be good at this job is THE MOST IMPORTANT
 JOB IN THE WORLD.  I make mistakes, l regret the way l handle some situations, but this is the job that is so vital to me. I dont want to be the best mom in the world because l dont think that exists. my own mom is fantastic but as a mom now l realise that MOMS/MUMS/MAMMYS are all just women like me trying to do their best for their kids.
And l am trying every day to give my kids a happy home life, a healthy life, exercise, edcuation, good food, shelter, comfort, support, love, nurturing and a safe haven in this world. It is done with an abundance of love but maybe not always with an abundance of patience....
I would like that as my two beautiful children grow up they will look back and say they had a happy childhood, what a compliment that would be xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

What do l wish l was great at.....

Like asking me what my favourite book is, asking me what l wish l was great at is quite a loaded question..the list is endless.

I wish l could play a musical instrument, guitar or piano to be honest would be the top two, although in terms of sociability and portability obviously guitar wins hands down.

I wish l could sing well. Dont get me wrong  l ADORE singing, singing along in car, in kitchen, in shower at parties. BUT l am not a singing on my own in front of others person.

I think there would be something AWESOME(in the truest sense of the word)about picking up a guitar and playing and singing a song. Such a beautiful gift..

I wish l could run.not that l cannot actually run, I am blessed with the gift of mobility and two working legs. I am not a very fit or healthy person. l do try to walk every day and cycle a bit and l love swimming but l see those near to me who run, and are good at it, they live to go for a run, and l dont begrudge them this, but l do envy them it. To run, under your own steam with the wind in your hair. Beautiful.

I do wish l could draw well.  l love taking photos, and l always have a pen and paper handy  but i have thought often, how wonderful it would be to be able to capture something well, on paper.

All these things l would like to be able to do, and l do my best at everything l try, but l know my limitations. I am not a lazy person, or a defeatist, but l know that drawing and singing and music do not appear to be my gifts,, but at the same token, nor did l invest in them but doing lessons or studying them, so that my friends is entirely down to me

5 weaknesses, five strengths

5 weaknesses of mine

I am a fixer, a helper,  l would literally do anything for someone if they needed help.  THe downside is that l do overstretch myself, l can leave myself under pressure as a result, l can take on too much.  THis is insight that has been recently accquired!!!!
So l know now that running myself into the ground to help others is not such a good thing, l must leave something in the tank for me   :)

I dont always see myself as others do, l can be very hard on myself..it has been oftentime pointed out to me....

I can get upset about things and not process them at the time or deal with them at the time and they come back to haunt me.

This is tied in to my ability to work very well under pressure and in a crisis but....when you just keep going and going and going It would seem that all that stress and pressure has been somehow swallowed up by your self but not dealt with..

so these are things l need to work on.


5 strengths.
the flip side of some of these have to be my positives too.

I am good in a crisis
I am a person that people feel they can turn to in a time of need.

I am a good listener and l believe l can do this in a non judgemental way as people have told me all sorts of things over the years and l have let them speak freely.

I am trustworthy. l hope this is why people feel they can share problems, secrets, personal issues with.

As with all attributes a good insight is needed, like with me when my helping nature runs away with and l leave myself under pressure and exhausted..
With all balance is important and keeping sight of ourselves and our needs is essential..

somedays are just emotional rollercoasters..ups and downs, highs and lows but ultimately rich experiences . At least we know we are alive and involved in the world

Passions of mine x 5

1.  I love Books. I have to say that l literally cannot go to bed at night without having a book that l am reading on my bedside locker.  I keep a stash of my favourites in my bedside locker, firstly because l just absolutely love them and secondly l can dip in and out of them if l am in the unusual predicament of not having a book.
I do dream of having a book store, a quirky one with seats dotted around it where you can stop and read.  I know a beautiful bookstore in Kinsale Co.Cork that is the nicest book store l've been to. It has newspaper reviews of the books taped onto shelf in front of the mentioned book, they do little cards with a review of each book, they write little bits about authors. I love it..the only thing l long for when there is a cuppa..which leads me to

2. I love tea, love cafes, tea rooms and all sorts of shops that sell tea, cups, teabags, tea leaf and so on.
I would love a tea room of my own see my blog on dream job where l outline such a dream...
I do think the bringing togethere of the tea room and the quirky bookshop- the book cafe to be the dream marriage really. I went, many years ago, to a fab book store in New York, which was quite near the NEw York State Library. You could get a coffee and take the book you liked from the shelf and bring it into the adjoining cafe and read it and see if you liked it. THis blew me away...in fact l have yet to explore but have driven past a cafe, again in Kinsale, where l believe you can drink tea/coffee and read books, possibly a book swop cafe....must check this out for wonderfulness..

3. MUSIC how l love thee. l just love music, all sorts, fast slow trad, folk, country, house, dance, punk, indie,opera l love all sorts.  I once told someone my taste in music was very ecclectic, they reckoned l said Electric and were making all sorts of approving noises- I did not have the heart to correct them.."Are friends electric"??
I use music to cheer me up on a sad day, l use it on good days to express my joy, l use it to boost my energy levels, l use it when exercising to crank it up a notch, l use it for fun-dancing with the kids.
I have some music that l openly love, then l have other music that l share with friends with similar music taste, sometimes people are blown away by types of music l like but they had never known, and l can see they are impressed or maybe look at me in a whole new light..Then there is my guilty pleasure music, there are a range of songs that are just for me- they are reserved for listening to in private or singing in the shower and its not that l would deny l like them, l just may not necessarily publicly declare my love for them....

4 Movies
I have a lifelong love affair with the movie. I dont hold much water with movie critics because l think they must be deprived of any joy what with trying to watch a movie on about four different levels and trying to find mistakes in it so they can write about it and try to outdo each other.

I just love movies. I love the cinema, l love dvds, l love watching movies on the tv..and if its a movie l like l can watch it many many times...l have lots of these favourites and they are a great source of comfort , like a really good friend.
The real challenge is when one of my favourite books is made into a movie......oooooooohhhh. but again, l am not one of those precious movie critics who waits to tear strips off the book blockbuster turned movie. you just have to accept that it will be different, not just the characters who you would have visualised differently, but parts of the movie may vary, possibly even the end. so you have to enter into the relationship of your book turned movie experience with a very open mind.

5. TRAVEL & DREAMS OF TRAVEL
When l was young and living at home with my parents l always turned the newspaper to the weather report section.  The reason being that it listed lots of places around the world and gave the weather for each. l was fascinated, l would look at the hottest places, the coldest places, the wettest, windiest, sunniest etc.  I imagined being able to go to some of them.  As l got older and finally got the chance to begin my adventures abroad l remember my childhood fascination with the weather section of the paper so l would look through this over the years and on occassion take a pen and begin to tick off all the places l have been too.  I am now proud to say l have many many ticks completed and hopefully many more to follow.
there is nothing more amazing than travel and l have a list of places l would like to go to. It helps to be prepared, just in case the opportunity arises, l will be ready to go >:)

How l felt becoming a parent

I think it was amazing, the whole process of becoming pregnant. We planned it, decided to try, and we blessed it worked right away. nine months later, literally we welcomed our first born into the world.  l was extremely relieved she had arrived and appeared to be perfect. she was incredibly beautiful and content also.  we picked her name which seemed to instantly suit her. The most amazing thing for me was that as the visitors left and it was just me and her.. l couldnt believe she was mine for keeps. I couldnt believe that that l had brought a person into the world.
I kept calling her by my niece's name and thinking of her as that name and then l had to keep practicing her name.

the reality of becoming a parent takes quite some time to filter through. it happens in waves. It is a rollercoaster of emotion, elation, pride, overwhelming love, panic, fear, concern about your parenting, fear of your child becoming sick.

as my daughter grew it became more mind blowing that l had brought this little bub into the world.  Everybody said she was the absolute image of me and that was even more mind blowing and for many reasons.  I would never have thought myself to be attractive or good looking and yet my daughter is the most amazingly beautiful child. She is a revelation to me.

When we decided to have a second child, shortly after our daughter's first birthday, l did say to my husband, can we love anybody as much as we love our little girl.
Then my son was born after a very very difficult and worrying pregnancy.  Wow is all l can say.
My hurt burst with love. He was born a few days early, he was healthy and well which was a huge relief. The fact that he was absolutely   gorgeous and made my heart do somersaults answered any questions about being able to love your second child as much as your first.

watching them grow up, battle childhood illness, learn to walk and talk, develop their relationships etc. has been amazing and exhausting and rewarding.

If my daughter is my mirror image then the same can be said of my son and his dad. so in many ways it is like watching ourselves start the journey of life all over..

What is your dream job and why?

My dream job and why

i think if you ask yourself this question throughtout your life, maybe every decade the chances are you could have a different answer, or a similar answer with modifications.


Over the years l  have had dream jobs that were always related to my chosen profession or field of work. 
Then l kept coming across a quote for years that said, find what you love, make that your work.

So for me, on a personal level, l love looking after people, l love chatting to people, l love cooking for people, making somebody a cuppa after a busy day and putting a nice meal in front of them.

I like baking when l am having visitors, or baking and bringing a treat to a friend.
I love tea, types of tea, tea cups, tea pots.  I also love making pots of fresh coffee, expecially when we have visitors, even though l dont drink it myself l love the smell and the process of it.

I love music and books, l love having music on in the background.

So, when l put it all together..l would love to have my own tearooms/cafe, with an adjoining reading room/book shop.
i have the blue print all organised in my head, decor ideas, plus a plan for evening activities there too. I even have a premises ear marked.
Now all l need is the lottery jackpot to help me on my way, but hey YOU GOTTA HAVE A DREAM, and mine is very vivid.

three wishes, right now, dont stop and think...go

1. Good health for me and my loved ones.  Its an old saying and maybe a cliche but as you move on in life you realise that Good health really is wealth.

2.Happiness.  It is a blessing.  We must never underestimate the gift that it is. I wish it for myself, because if l think i deserve it...l want my husband and kids to be happy. My parents and family and friends. We can deal with whatever life throws at us if we know what it is to experience happiness.

3. Love.  I feel love hugely. for my husband for sure.  A totally different love for my children.  The wonder of them, when l watch them at the start of their life as they begin to make their way in their own little worlds. the awe l feel when l watch them sleeeping. knowing l grew two human beings in me and created two new lives and brought them into the world..l know they understand love, great love, love of their parents and family and friends. l wish them abundant love in their lives. l hope we have already planted the seed of love in them for nature, for learning, for experience, for exploring. these are the gifts l hope we have given them.

these are my wishes, the rest will take care of itself xx

Five things that make me most happy right now

five things that make me most happy right now

1. my husband- who is also my friend, my confidante, my sounding board, my partner in life, my conscience. for unconditional love, support, friendship, chocolate addiction and tv viewing buddy :)

2. my kids. who l love dearly and also give out about in equal measures..  :) really though, they are my heart and soul, my pride and joy, my salvation, my present, my future. My hopes now are for them and what they need and what l want for them, wish for them and hope for them. xx

3. My parents. for being a constant in a world that is ever changing. For loving my kids in the most beautiful of ways, seeing them together brings the love in my life full circle. it is a huge source of joy.

4. for True friends. who are there in good times and in bad, who know me best, love me best, make me laugh out loud, who remember happy times, sad times, embarrassing moments, mistakes and are still happy to be in life and love..l thank you and am thankful for you.

5. For hope in the face of adversity, for spirit in spite of adversity and most of all for the capacity to still have dreams  for my future  and whatever it may hold for me.

for these things, l am truly grateful and happy

10 things l would tell my sixteen year old self

1.  Love and respect yourself.
2. Feel Strong and be strong.
3. Dont be ashamed of your intelligence, study hard and you will reap the rewards.
4. Dont be ashamed of yourself. you are a good person, exploring relationships and sexuality is a perfectly normal part of life, just be sensible about how you do it, the church might be strict but god is kind and accepting.
5.  Dont turn your back on your faith so easily, you can challenge your church, question its teachings but stay involved. Faith can be a source of great comfort in a time of need.
6. Eat healthy
7. Drink lots of water..it is great for the skin, the body and the mind
8. Exercise for fun, and try different types of activity.
9. find something that calms you and grounds you...relaxation techniques will help you not to panic, not to fight with your folks, will help you through exam stress, relationship issues etc.
10. make the most of what you have and do not waste your time comparing yourself to others..you are yourself and you will be loved and admired for yourself.
11. Accept yourself body and mind, this is who you are. This is what you have been given, learn to love all of yourself.
12. Always keep your friends, and do not lose yourself in anyone relationship, we need lots of people in our lives.
13. Confrontation of any sort is a discomfort but it does not mean you have to go along with things you dont like, or things you are unhappy with around you.
14. Its ok to be quiet, you do not have to be the joker to lighten the mood of the environment you are in.
15. Do not smoke. it may seem cool but it really does kill, it makes your hair smell, your breath smell, your fingers get discoloured, it is expensive, it damages your teeth and gums, your lungs, and hearth, your skin, and when you get older it will have given your wrinkles, used obscene amounts of your money and caused a whole host of health issues.
16. Dont feel under pressure to do anything you do not want to do because you were too shy to say no.
17, Spend time with your family and your parents and especially your mum. She is a warm, loving, kind and wonderful woman. Sometimes you are both too similar and can spark...see beyond this and embrace all she has to offer you, let her into your world and communicate with her..any effort from you no matter how small will come back to you a hundred fold..
18. dont be afraid to show affection to your dad, he loves you so much and really wants the best for you, communicate with him, tell hime you love him, chat with him, let him into your life, he loves you
19. Do not let your siblings drift from you, you may want different things, have different friend and interests but they are your flesh and blood. keep them close
20. Do not settle for second best. strive for the best ..from yourself, from your life, from your relationships..in all you do, do your best . At the end of the day..Do youself justice. You are amazing xxxxx

three fears of mine...

1. confined spaces.

.I am ok in lifts/elevators. I am fine even in small cars, bedrooms etc..BUT do not ask me to go pot holing, or into tight narrow spaces or to crawl into tight spot because l just cannot do.  I once watched a movie where a person was kidnapped, had hands and feet bound and tape across mouth and then was put in the trunk of a car..l literally nearly went off in a weakness and had to get up and leave the room.

I do remember being very young and at home playing and some cousins came over. There was a game of hide and seek. l remember l went to hide in the hot press and one of the cousins came and locked the door from the outside not realising l was in there.  I stayed quiet a short while and then panic set in and l kept shouting and shouting and shouting until eventually someone found me...

I do believe this to be the route of my fear..

I do get what the whole "feel the fear and do it anyway brigade" are saying, but sometimes l thinks it is more of a case of feel the fear and do what the best thing for yourself is.  there are other fears l can deal with but this is one whose boundary does not need testing


2.Heights

I have done my best with this fear in that l have gone to the top of tall buildings, have climbed mountains, l have gone abseiling on several occassions.  however this is a fear that l feel in  a very physical way and have to respond as best l can when it strikes. For example on my honeymoon l sent my husband off up to the top of the Eiffel Tower by himself, l was quiet happy to wait at the bottom sipping a hot chocolate and admiring the view.
on another occassion l was going great guns going up to the top of an old tower with some friends and then l got the feeling and had to go with it, and came back down the old stone slab staircase shuffling on my butt like a baby. but l am ok with that too.


3.  Recurring dream/fear
This is not a particular fear as it is a dream but it is a dream l have had many times over the years so l have given it much thought.
I dream that l suddenly realise l am being followed or am being chased/attacked and l go to run but my legs are like lead and nothing l try can make me go any faster and l keep trying but cannot run and l scream in my dream and wake up with a start..
It should be the best motivation l have ever had to get fit but alas ...not yet..

things my kids should know about me......hmm

20 random facts about myself

1. I love tea
2. I like baking and cooking
3. I am terrified of snakes
4. I like to shower at least once a day, maybe twice depending on the weather or how hectic my day was.
5. I enjoy driving, even alone, especially listening to good radio show or with great cd.
6. I love singing out loud in car along to cd, l aslo like to sing in the shower.
7, I love taking photographs.
8. Twitter is fun and lovely annoying and frustrating and kinda addictive
9. I think l had much more patience before l my kids were born
10. I like alone time
11. I love being spontaneous, especially in the summer but being a mom now, routine is great too.
12. I fantasise about winning the lottery and starting my own charitable foundation. I have even written the blueprint and picked my charities/projects to work on
13. I am greying and so am proudly colouring my hair..I will embrace my greyness in my sixties.
14. I love travel, l have done lots but have lots of places on my to visit list...that will be another blog story of its own :)
15. I met my husband for the first time when l was ten years old. he was one of my first major crushes..we got together when l was 26.
16. I am useless at skateboarding/roller skating/ice skating...my kids will laugh when they finally see my attemtps at this.
17. I love summer, bbqs, picnics, taking kids to the beach, park, to see sporting events
18. I have a full time career job, l am a professional but will happily give it all up to simplify my life and get to hang with the kids..
19. l love getting together with my girlfriends for a good chat and a cuppa
20. my parents rock