All day long, every day, we ask people how they are doing but..do we really want to hear?
most times people ask the question when they see a friend or colleague, maybe a neighbour, a family member
but they keep walking and not listen for the answer.
What would you do if somebody actually tried to tell you...would you be interested, would you listen and try to understand how they were feeling even if you couldnt relate to it? Would you be mentally making out your grocery list or all the things you needed to do on your way home.
It can be very hard for people to reach out to others.
Even harder to tell people how you are feeling, what is worrying you, what your stresses are, what difficulties you may be experiencing.
I think sharing is exceptionally hard for people.
People feel the need to save face, to keep respect. They also see barriers to sharing or confiding that are put up by others.
The barriers to this are grounded in fear:
fear that the person will not listen
fear that the person will not understand
fear that the person will not respond in a sensitive or empathetic manner
fear that you will be judged
So could we all in a very very small way, take tiny steps
-make ourselves available to others
-put out signals that we will listen,
- we will try to help
- we will not judge
these steps alone could go along way towards understanding where our loved ones may be in their lives right now
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